Zable Fisher

How to Fix a Crummy E-Mail Message

Posted July 24, 2008 by Margie Zable Fisher

In next week’s newsletter I will be writing more about the power of e-mails (both negative and positive), but now I’d like to provide an annoying e-mail I received (without names to protect the not-so-innocent), and show you how I would change it to make it positive.

I received this first e-mail in response to my newsletter that went out yesterday, regarding how people should “Just Ask” for what they want.

Here is the e-mail:

Hi Margie,

So now I’ve learned to ASK, so ask I will.

1) I’m in (      ), Fl and I know you too are somewhere here in FL but not exactly sure where ???

2) My son just took over one of my corporations and now is doing (      ).

He’s got years of big corporate experience (      ) plus a BS and Masters in (      ), so he is very qualified.

How can he get his website known FREE to get the word out so that companies will contact him with job orders and other companies will contact him ?????

Remember you mentioned, WE SHOULD ASK…..ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

(name and city deleted)
My son’s one website : (      ). His other website is now under construction

Here is my response to his e-mail:

ask and you shall receive - see my comments below thanks 

Hi Margie, 

So now I’ve learned to ASK, so ask I will. 

1) I’m in (      ), Fl and I know you too are somewhere here in FL but not exactly sure where ??? 
Boca Raton 

How can he get his website known FREE to get the word out so that companies will contact him with job orders and other companies will contact him?????
1. Put up great free content so he will be ranked highly in search engines when people search for his type of company
2. Write articles on his expertise with his Web site and contact info listed
3. Get publicity - I suggest starting with my DIY PR Kit -  http://zfpr.com/public_relations_kit.htm 

Here is his response to my e-mail:

NOT AT ALL FOND OF YOUR IMPERSONAL STYLE, so please refrain from boring me with any of the things you have for sale Unsubscribe me

As you can imagine, the e-mail bothered me. But I always like to find an educational opportunity (for myself as well as others), so I decided to take a stab at re-writing his response using the sandwich approach (give a positive, then a criticism, then a positive). It’s something I’m always working on, in many different situations. So here’s another way he could have sent me the e-mail:

Dear Margie, Thanks for your response. I know you’re busy and I’m glad you find the time to respond to me at all. I might not have worded my request very well. I was actually looking for specific guidance on publicity activities that would drive business to him through his Web site. Again, I really appreciate the time you have spent helping me. I love your newsletters. Sincerely,

Now, if I had received this kind of e-mail instead of the one he sent, he would have gone up in my estimation instead of causing me to think negatively of him. What are your thoughts?

Posted in Margie's Thoughts, Small Business Tips Subscribe to this Blog

5 comments...What do you think?

  1. Posted by Jenny Herrickj 30th July, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Dear Margie,

  2. Posted by Jenny Herrickj 30th July, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    I would have been tickled to have rec’d your response in whatever style - you were providing this person explicit information to her/his question with three short and to the point suggestions . . . all at a great price!!! I, personally like your style!

  3. Posted by Steve Winston 30th July, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    I agree with Jenny. In any business (sometimes even more so in our business) you run into people who are crude and boorish. In this case, it’s a person who’s trying to get something for nothing. And you were kind enough to give him something, Margie. If he wanted more specific answers than those he received, he should be willing to pay your standard rate. Sounds like you’re dealing here with a person who has no problem asking…only a problem receiving an answer he doesn’t like.

    Steve Winston
    President, STRATEGICOM
    (561) 487-6824
    winyou@bellsouth.net

  4. Posted by Rhonda 30th July, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    I was shocked at the response he gave- definitely not how to thank someone who takes the time out to help you. You answered the questions- if he expected you to give out a detailed plan, he needs to realize that you’re not being paid to help him. You laid out a map, all he needs to do is the research to bring it to fruition.

  5. Posted by Michael Milford 30th July, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Hi Margie: This guy sounds like he’s all attitude and no gratitude. Twenty dollars says he runs Mommy’s business into the ground…and blames her! The last time I looked Margie, you were in business to do business. Suggesting he might benefit from one of your programs or pieces is your job…helping folks get the word out. My website has a feature called: Ask Michael Anything. I receive questions from all over the world from folks that want to try their hand at home maintenance…it is a public service that I offer because I want to help. If I had a book that had the answers to their questions…I would absolutely suggest the buy it! It would be a win-win for all.

    Michael Milford
    The Neighborhood Guy Handyman
    The Neighborhood Guy Charitable Foundation
    Arlington, Texas

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